I know, I know. It's not September yet. I can't decide if this classifies as cheating or if it's just because I've always been an eager beaver (pun intended). Sometimes, the stars just align for this sort of thing. I thought that was going to be the case last night, I was still dealing with "Shark Week" so I figured "Meh, might as well". I don't know, I always hear about these women who give oral consistently when they are on their period. I, personally, think it at the
very least was a
myth started by men to tap into that little part of our mind still being run a teenager (Oh..really?
Everyone's doing it? Maybe I should do it too.). For anyone interested, this part of the brain is also responsible for our relentless love for boy bands, The Spice Girls, terrible teen comedies, mood rings and gimp. (Shit, I forgot about gimp!) Anyways, to get back on track, I just don't believe that some woman one day thought to herself, "Well, I can't have sex, but I just
love giving pleasure so so much. I hope he'll let me give him a blowjob." But this is coming from the same cynic that doesn't understand women that love giving oral, so I digress.
Back to the stars aligning. They didn't. I mentioned the idea to G earlier in the night and he was all for it. (Two nights of oral in one week?! Of course he was on board.) That being said, he had been complaining about a sore back the past couple of nights and I really didn't even take that into consideration. Neither did he though. He heard "Maybe you can give me a pearl necklace" and rushed through the night as fast as he could. We also had a heavy dinner. Again, I am a novice at this...don't judge me. Than our kids, who are usually asleep by 8 p.m. decided they wanted to know what staying up until 11 p.m. was like.
When we finally settled into bed, it looked like I had been defeated. I offered a couple more times, but he didn't want to get up and shower (no shower = no balls ANYWHERE near my face). With that, I got up to make sure I locked the door (anyone else seriously OCD about that?) and when I came back, G was gone! He had hopped into the shower. When he got back, I asked what made him decide to go through with it (I probably should have whispered it in a sexy voice, again people, I'm new!) and his reply had something to do with knowing his luck, today I would be "over" all the sex(y) things I mentioned doing.
To be honest, I'm shocked that he's wasn't right.
So, I got into position. The positioning of it is why I so lovingly named it "Spiderman Oral". It reminds me of the upside down kiss that he and MJ (??) shared. If you can get that image into your head, you understand what I mean. For those that aren't familiar with Spiderman: First of all, where the fuck were you in the early 2000s? Secondly, you're going to want to lie down on your back, be it on the bed, couch, whatever. You're going to want to be comfortable though. You're going to hang your head off your bed and your partner is going to stand in front of you. Essentially you're going to be upside down when you take his penis in your mouth. Sounds pretty straight forward/easy right? Not so much.
Don't get me wrong, it wasn't
that bad. I just don't think the person who came up with this move too into consideration the different ratios of bed height to partner's groin. So, I'm laying down on the bed, on my back, head hanging off the side and G walks up naked. His dick is maybe a quarter of a foot above me. The "old" me--the prudish me--the me that didn't really give a fuck about sex--well, she would have given up. Maybe not given up completely and went to bed, but she would have just ended up giving a regular BJ or more likely, a hand job.
Well, not this lady! I think I surprised G with how determined I was. I quickly grabbed a couple of pillows and took him in my mouth. It was still awkward because I had to pull him down so much I felt like I was hurting him. Than the light bulb went off. I have a huge round pillow that my Mema made me (forgive me Mema). I threw that under my head and tried again. MUCH better. Now that I was down to business, it gave me a chance to kind of "assess" the situation. I mean, I opened my eyes. Maybe not the smartest move. I had to stifle a couple of giggles because
believe me, the entire package looks, well, different upside down. The blog post I had read on this mentioned that she had a terrible gag reflex and that this helped it a bit. I don't really have that issue unless I have a rogue hair in my mouth, but I honestly felt like I was taking more of him in my mouth than I usually do. Than there's the balls. I have literally never
touched them so, putting them in my mouth was kind of a big deal. I still don't understand them, to be quite honest. They're very mysterious to me, almost like a leathery unicorn. Which, by the way, is the texture you're going to get (not a unicorn, jesus)..leather. I licked and fondled them intermittently, sorry that's really all I have for you so far on the "balls" topic. I noticed that G wasn't really thrusting, which seemed a little off to me. That's when it happened, I noticed the lean beginning. He had started to lean on the bed a bit, which worked better for me as it gave me a better angle. However, this "bit of a lean" started to turn into a ridiculous lean that had his balls mere cms away from my eyes. I finally had to pull away and say "So, um...you're almost tea-bagging my eyes." He laughed, said sorry and that it was because he back hurt.
I was back on my merry way for about two minutes when I realized that our time with Spiderman oral was coming to a close. G had begun leaning again. If his back hurt this much, there was no way he was going to be able to get into it enough. So, he laid down on the bed and I went back to business. Now, again, I am a novice at sucking dick. It's never been something I have enjoyed, so I just steered clear of it. That being said, I picked up a tip that will help those of you that can't take very much in your mouth: use your hand. Yes, I said it. Make your hand into kind of an "OK" sign:
Put it right against your lips. Keep it pressed against your lips as you take the dick in and out of your mouth. Again, it makes it seem like you are taking more of him into your mouth than you are. This was what sent G over the edge last night.
After he had cleaned up, we talked about the experience a bit. He said that while the Spiderman felt different, he wasn't sure what it was that made it feel different. He liked it, even went so far as to say it was "amazing". His favourite aspect though, was how I used my hand to "elongate" my mouth. All in all, I would say it was a success. I even became turned on during it and had I not been on my period, this would have definitely ended differently.
I wonder if G has realized he missed out on a certain something....
Ever yours,
Blushing xx
